6 months

the way you look at me –
fantastic as we talk about it.
I can see you scanning,
scanning me with your superiority
as you glare at my entire body
for an entirety, grinning
I wonder what we could do with that
so I’m waiting.

I can’t wrap my head around it
and I can’t get it out of me…
the insanity makes me believe
you can dream of us
so possibly
maybe, possibly, you understand
you can control the uncontrollable:
me, I’m waiting

alexandra

0:01

carve your power in my skin and i will never cover the scar
as i kneel beside you, i will trace my finger upon yours
to get a simple taste of the softness of your palm
where i stand.

devour my words with all your might as you have before
listen to my glancing and my pleading as you shatter me
drink the milkish water and pretend it never happened
or just sit down,
watch
and listen.

alexandra

juste, pourquoi?

i wish i understood the smell of his perfume when he sat next to me
and i wanted to tell him how much he reminds me of you.
i wanted to let him know just how much he can be
a much more desirable version, something new.

i wish i leaned in closer in that moment of correction
and intoxicated myself with the way he speaks;
i only wanted to show a brief case of affection
to a more desirable version, something i seek.

i wish you understood me the way he does now,
so I would not have to feed you love in thirds.
and although we exchange glances, not words
i still love him somehow

alexandra

momente de suspans

o dezorganizare a clipelor mă face să-mi amintesc
cele șase luni, pe scurt
o sută optzeci și cinci de zile, pe scurt
patru mii patru sute patruzeci de ore
de când te-am pierdut.
Însă clipesc
și risipesc
în mod alert
o dezorganizare a clipelor ce mă face să te iubesc.

alexandra

resistance

i wanted to show you all the passion
if it had been what you wanted.
i could’ve bore to watch your shoulders
bare as the night got excited.
i should not have passed saneness
to the white thought of your sight,
i must be able to forgive you
for what you have done to my mind.

i wanted you to say you want me,
i aspired for your lips.
i could not bare your perfume
promoting me to my knees.
i should have, as well, considered
you are being way too kind,
i must be able to forgive you
for what you have done to my mind.

i wanted to know the pain that made you
as you’re struggling to exist.
i could have kept your blue entirety
quietly, loosely in my fist.
i should have taken my advantage
tasting your drunken breath alive,
now i’m not able to forgive you
for what you have done to my mind.

alexandra