I believe all of this has started a long time ago, even further in the past than I can recall, and has briefly ended the exact moment I came across the similarities between two different problems.
My best friend and I were venting, as usual, about whatever happens to bother us in our daily lives, when she said something rather important. She told me sincerely how she feels about it and I realised that I am experiencing the same feeling, only to be entirely discouraged from finding a solution by the parallelism of the two situations. How was I supposed to help her now?!
I saw that this feeling was caused, in her case, by the irremediable presence of a thing, while, in my case, it was caused by its absence. Not to mention that the situations themselves were different, – in this moment I’m referring to a course of actions based on different human behavior – a detail which, again, wasn’t helpful if I was planning on helping my best friend anytime soon.
This was one of the moments I stood up and asked myself: “Considering all of it, how could these lead to the same thing? And exactly, why does it have the same intensity?” Indeed, it sounds complicated when you look at it this way. Or any other hand, really, I’m not going to lie and say I’ve solved it all because I haven’t. Brief revision: two parallel things ended up having the same effect.
By now, I think it is pretty clear that those things I keep talking about are people. Obviously, when I heard what happened I was extremely confused. You can ask her, too. I didn’t know what to say to possibly change something. All I could do was try to relate to what she feels and connect the problems somehow. That led nowhere.
The thing which, once again, got me thinking: “Are people this much alike?” We are different, yes, that is correct. We can certainly say that. But, if we do, how do we explain all sorts of relationships? We grow closer to people both similar and different from us, right? We end up seeing how a person we thought had nothing to do with us truly shares a lot of aspects. Vice versa, too.
How does that happen? Well, in one of my crazy late-night-bubble-bath theories, I tend to think like this: if people who we find different are not, that means they’re like us. But we care to find out that people who we think are like us, are or aren’t really. Where does that lead us, logically? To seeing that we are all alike.
Now, you may say: “Well, my cousin likes pasta and I don’t. That makes us different.”
Yes, it does. But I’m sorry if that’s your level of seeing my point. I wasn’t talking about absolute concurrence. Ugh. Let me put it this way: you know that thing that sometimes tingles deep down when in touch with true emotion? Yeah, that’s your soul. Yeah, yeeeeah. That’s what I was talking about. See, you got it. Now, I can go on.
Thinking about the moment this little theory of mine started, it probably dates back to a few years ago, when I started mercilessly comparing people. Yes, mercilessly. I’d never leave any detail uncovered. I’d have everything sorted out in my brain: how people behave and how to treat them accordingly. I felt as if I had the key to the center of the Universe and there was nothing there to ever stop me. It took me a while to meet someone who undoubtedly changed this perception of mine. Someone who I could never understand. I still can’t. I am not going to lie and say I thought I had, at some point, but that faded away as quickly as it was born. What’s impossible to even comprehend about this person is their ability to make me love them despite them being a total prick! Whatever, that was unrelated. I guess I’m just very angry.
Honestly, I have never given it as much thought as I have now. It just seemed… normal. The detail which made it fly out of the ordinary was the moment I tried to explain this to others and they couldn’t exactly relate. It made me think something was wrong, and there probably is, I just couldn’t figure it out quite yet.
There’s still time, anyway.
What about you? What do you think about this? Do you think that we could be so much alike if we let our heart guide us?
I’m looking forward to seeing how it all turns out.